Forgive me Father I'm Going Insane
by Seriously Yours
Summary: Guess What? Aang has a day job as a priest! Watch as he offers his expert advice to everything from heart breaks to honeymoons.Did I say advice?This kid has no idea what he’s doing!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: We do not own Avatar the Last Air Bender, the stock market, the universe and er…when you put it that way I guess all we own is our selves. **

**Baal- "Sorry La Femme I sold you for a dollar ninety-five on e-bay as an oddity."**

**La Femme- speechless**

**Forgive me Father…I'm going Insane**

**Guess What? Aang has a day job as a … priest. **

**Watch as the last Air bender listens to the sacrilegious sins of the Avatarians and offers his expert advice. **

**Did I say advice? This kid has no idea what he's doing!**

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It's a slow day for Father Aang, for he has had no visitors at all. The ex- Avatar was bored out of his mind when he hears the sharp clicks of metal boots coming up the aisle.

Curious, Aang peaks through the partition of his booth.

An armored figure stands before the confessional… Prince Zuko.

Aang is sick and tired of his ever-present stalker and decides to tell the Fire bender to beat it or be beaten; but the exhausted look on Zuko's face makes Aang change his mind.

Zuko lets out a deep breath**. "Forgive me father for I have sinned."**

_Ooh this is too good to be true _Aang snickers quietly and suppressing his giggles forces out**, "Confess your sins my son."**

"**Father… I've had inappropriate thoughts about the Avatar."**

A gagging noise is heard behind the wall and finally the priest's chocked voice is heard.

"**Like w.. what my prince?"**

"**Well…When I'm alone at night…**

Gagging noise resumes

" **I yearn to wring his neck." **Zuko finishes guiltily.

"**Thank god!"**

"**_Excuse _me?"**

"**Er… _nothing_. Why do you think you harbor these violent thoughts?"**

"**How am I supposed to know? You're the expert!"** snaps Zuko in annoyance.

"**Er…Tell me about your childhood"** The priest's voice issues uncertainly.

"**Leave my childhood out of this! My childhood was _fine_!"** Zuko shouts defensively.

Aang racks his brain for guidelines to fend off unstable benders.

"**Calm your self my child, let's go back further in to your past. Tell me about your infancy."**

"**Huh?" **

"**Your suppressed anger might stem from an infant situation."**

"**Like _what_?"**

"**Were you… er…Breast fed enough?" **Aang trails off, fearing a royal explosion.

Zuko remains silent, trying to absorb the new information. Wordlessly, he makes his way to the door leaving Aang staring at his back.

Overcome with curiosity the Avatar calls out,

"**Hey Zuko, Am I right?"**

Zuko's muffled voice is heard from the doorway. "**NOT MY FAULT! I was lactose intolerant!"**

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Admiral Zhao swaggers into the confessional and drawls arrogantly,

"**Forgive me father or you'll be killed."**

Behind the partition, Aang rolls his eyes.

"**What troubles you Admiral."**

"**Oh nothing troubling Priest, I seem to have killed off Prince Zuko."**

Aang yawns. **"And how does this make you feel."**

"**Pretty good actually."**

"**If you don't repent your sins, what should I forgive you for?"**

Zhao waves his hand airily, **"Oh that! Forgive the mess my rhino made on your doorstep." **

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The beautiful bounty hunter struts up to the confessional.

Propping her feet up Jun starts filing her nails.

Aang is annoyed **"Hey lady, you can do that elsewhere you know?"**

Jun starts talking as if she didn't hear him. **"My lousy therapist says confessing is good for my anger management issues…so confess Father, I'm listening."**

Aang sighs in frustration. **"Look hear ma'am, you're supposed confess and I'm expected to listen (unfortunately). So go on ahead."**

Jun thinks hard. **"Nope. Nothing to confess."**

**You sure? Any misgivings about say…your career choice."**

"**Nope, don't you know my motto? No Pity, More Money, No Regrets."**

"**So basically you're wasting my time…?"**

"**No wait…I'm married."**

"**Since when was marriage a sin?"**

"**Er…when you're married to three men?"**

"**Hee hee. Good one Jun."** Aang remembers his job and becomes serious. **"No that's bad! Bad girl! Aren't you satisfied with _one_?"**

Jun shrugs casually, **"I have a short attention span."**

Aang is speechless.How was he supposed to deal with _this_? He was no marriage councilor. The young Avatar wonders if she will go away if he says nothing.

Ten minutes later.

"**So Father…Are you married?"**

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Aang shuddered in fear as he saw Avatar Roku glide into the church. It seemed to Aang that his past life only brought him bad news and grief. First Roku told him he has to work his butt off this summer then he blew up a temple with Aang still inside it and to top it off Roku went all mafia on Jeong Jeong and forced him to teach Aang. That was the last straw, Aang wanted Jeong to like him for who he was not because an old guy double crossed him.

Avatar Roku's tranquil voice floated over to Aang

"**Forgive me Son, for I have…"**

"**Sinned! Yes I know. (Just get it over with and go before you come up with another dark omen.) What is your sin?"**

"**I have sinned. That's enough. You don't have security-clearance to know any more." **(Looks around conspiratorially)** "I have something very important to tell you Aang, that is why when I heard that you have come here I came here to tell you this."**

"**Okay…I'm listening."**

"**What do you want? The good news or the bad news."**

Aang sighed._At least there was good news this time._ **"The Bad news please."**

"**Solzen's comet will return, but not in the summer as I told it would but in spring."**

"**But…but… you said I would have time until summer to defeat the fire lord!"**

"**I LIED!" **Roku did a superb Arnold schwarzanager impression.

"**You sneaky bastard! How could you?"**

Avatar Roku holds up his palm and deadpanned. "**Talk to the hand"**

Several minutes passed while Aang hyperventilated, threw up, ate all his comfort food, cancelled his appointments for the next month and cried on the phone to his shrink.

"**Ok Roku…(deep breath) tell me the good news."**

"**Oh Aang you'll be so happy for me. I'm marrying Kyoshi in the after life; you're invited too."**

Aang exploded.** "You THINK? The way that I'm going, Ozai will send me to the after life with a first class ticket!"**

"**Now Now Aang, this is not the time for your random outbursts. No one likes angsty boys…"**

"**Oh yeah? Look at Zuko. He's the Master of Teenage angst and he still has girls crawling over him."**

"**Well Aang that's got nothing to do with his pouting sessions and more to do with a Greek god physique. And just look at that scar… it's downright sexy and the story behind it? Child abuse? Exile? no wonder the girls are crawling. What about that seductive ponytail? And face it, fire IS hotter than air. Ha ha ha, figuratively speaking of course."**

"**Avatar Roku" **Aang yelled covering his ears with his hands, "**are you sure you want to marry Kyoshi not Zuko?"**

"**Impertinent child! I'm leaving now, don't call me for the next four weeks. I'll be on my honeymoon."**

Aang gave him the finger.

Roku pointed one back. **"Likewise"**

Aang stared gloomily as Avatar Roku's robes trailed out of sight.

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**This fic is dedicated to all the reviwers of Top Ten Questions We'd Ask the Cast of Avatar. You guys are the greatest.**

**How did you like this one? Want this madness to continue?**

**Plz review.**

**Thanx,**

**La Femme & Baal**


	2. Chapter 2

**Father Aang is back with a Bang…with an all new attitude. **

**Yes ladies and gents, the young Avatar is having a baaaad day…too bad for his "clients."**

**(PS- SleepingDragon13, Zuko isn't dead, Zhao just thinks he is. Zhao is moron therefore, he's wrong.)**

**This chapter is dedicated to the "superior" element. As someone great once said:**

**The Fire nation Ownz You!**

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A portly man squeezed into the confessional, out of breath. Aang guessed it was '_Meet the Fire benders_ Day.

The old General sighed forlornly. **"Forgive me father but I can't quit."**

'_I hate my job'_ Aang sulked but pulled himself together said.**"Talk to me General"**

"**I think I might have a problem."**

"**Yeah?"**

"**I think I'm addicted."**

"**You think?"**

"**No matter what I do I can't seem to stop…"**

**Er…**

"**-chasing young women."**

**Er…**

"**-_and_ drinking Ginseng. **

"**Er…"**

"**-_and_ shopping till I'm dropping."**

Aang scratched his head. **"These are sins unfit for your old age General Iroh."**

"**I _know_."** Iroh hung his head in shame, then he perked up. **"But I have an excuse."**

"**Yeah?"** Aang challenged. **"Let's hear it then!"**

"**I have short term memory loss!" **smiled Iroh happily.

"**Oh?"**

"**Yeah you see I chase young women because I don't remember how old I am, I drink multiple cups of tea because I can't remember whether I had any earlier. You see, every cup is like the _first!_****Same with shopping, can't recall what I've bought so I keep on buying…"**

Aang grinned nastily**. "You seem to have _everything_ figured out General…"**

Iroh bowed, **"Thankyou."**

"**Does your nephew know about your…condition?"**

"**I don't know if you know this father…but my nephew isn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer. He suspects nothing…"**

Aang leaned forward and lowered his voice, "**So hypothetically speaking…let's just say if Zuko ever captured the Avatar and you "accidentally" helped him escape; your _condition _might override your memory and you wouldn't have any recollection of the incident, _right?"_**

"**Maybe…but only if my condition is severe enough"** Iroh pretended to mull it over. "**I've heard that Ginseng Tea and five hundred gold pieces might encourage short term memory loss."**

"**I've heard so too...that's why General I'd like to present two barrels of Tea and this money pouch with complements of the church."**

"**How kind of you"**

"**My pleasure…now if we are done?"**

"**Yes, good bye father…"**

"**Goodbye son"**

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The man in fire nation armor loiters near the confessional.

"**Who are you, and why should I care?"** Aang barks.

The stranger speaks up nervously **"Look, I need to talk to someone. I can really use a friend right now." **

**"Okay then,"** Aang turns away.** "Well, _good luck_ with that."**

"**I realize this is a confessional…I have no sins but I have enough problems to substitute. If I tell you my troubles will you promise not to laugh?"**

Aang sighs.** "I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings. So yeah! I promise."**

**I'm a random fire nation solider. I can't bend, my uniform isn't gold edged like Zuko's and I routinely disappear when fight scenes are over. **

"**Ooh how sad! Since I listened to your sob-story, you will listen to mine. I'm a random Avatar. I can bend only air. My uniform is a three piece crap suit and Zuko's on me like a baboon in heat!"**

The man speaks up indignantly. **"What the hell are you complaining about? I'd give anything for the Fire Price to chase _me _!"**

"**Sod off shit-head!"** Aang stuck out his tongue.

"**If you ask me Father I think you have some intimacy issues."**

Aang pulls off his robes and stomps off. **"That's it! I quit!"**

The solider contemplates in silence…then, **"Hey…That rhymes!"**

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**Aang is forced back to his job by a lawyer who points out the small print in his contract, which states that Priesthood is a lifetime's commitment unless Aang get's fired…or fried. With all the fire benders crawling around, Mr.Laywer says that the second option sounds promising. Aang air bends his conniving hide out the door.**

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**Zula**

Aang grimaced as yet another fire national approached him.

The haughty teenager looked around and sniffed in disdain,** "What a filthy hovel"**

Aang gritted his teeth and stated politely, **"If you have sinned please come and confess; otherwise…** _eat shit!_ He said in his head, but out loud he voiced… **"… take the time to make a donation."**

The arrogant Fire princess clicked her tongue, **"Oh I'll donate my time to flatten this shack anyday"**

"**Why are all the fire benders I meet demented, twisted, obsessed or horny?"**

The question took Zula by surprise. **"Hmm…maybe all the inbreeding we do finally got to us?"**

"**What'dya mean?"**

"**For example, my mother was also my sister/cousin."**

Aang threw up his breakfast.

Zula sneered. "**That's pretty much the same reaction Zuko had when dad told him…believe me I'd throw a fit too if I was born with a tail."**

"**Zuko has a tail?" **Aang croaked, breathless with laughter. _I love this job!_

"**_Had…"_ **Zula corrected. ** "Pity father burnt it off."**

"**Are you sure? The way he's acting, I think that Zuko's tail is still stuck up his ass.**

"**I _Know" _**Zula laughed meanly. "**He's such an anal retentive, uptight prick isn't he?"**

Aang snickered..**"Hee hee…I'm not taking sides but I agree."**

The princess surveyed the church critically **"Well Baldie…Can't say I didn't enjoy our conversation…Too bad I've gotta burn down your "office".**

"**But, but…Why?"**

"**Like you said…Fire benders are sick twisted inbred freaks. Be that as it may, I'm just bored."**

Aang fired up, **"You're acting like a crazed psychopath!"**

**  
**Zula snorted.** "The voices in my head disagree."**

**She proceeds to set fire to everything and anything in her path, leaving Aang to sit behind a smoking confessional.**

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**Ozai-**

**Aang shivered as he saw who was approaching the burnt-up confessional. He had half a mind to take off but stayed anyway.**

The Fire Lord's 'nails-on-chalkboard' voice issued commandingly. "**Forgive me father or else."**

"**Confess your sins my…son." **Aangsaid sarcastically. He decided to play with Ozai's mind.

"**I hate Zuko"**

"**You can't say that! He's your son."**

"**So what? You gonna throw that in my face?"**

"**Er No... Why do you hate him?"**

"**He went A-WOL two years ago and he's now MIA."**

"**He went AWOL? Away with an outrageous lover?"**

"**No dumbass. He ran away. Abandoned. Deserted. Jumped ship. Kapish?"**

"**Sure. But _why?_"**

"**I can't remember."**

"**Seems to me memory loss runs in your family."**

Ozai ears perked up.** "What?"**

"**Nevermind! Don't you like kids?"**

"**No"**

"**So Zula was an accident?""**

**  
**Ozai contemplated. **"No, she a surprise."  
**

"**Oh. What's the difference?"**

**  
"Well, an accident is something that you wouldn't do over again if you had the chance. A surprise is something you didn't even know you wanted until you got it."**

**  
" Was Zuko an accident?"**

**  
"No. Zuko was a disaster**."

Aang sighed.** "You know what I think?"**

**  
"No. Do you?"**

"**No."**

A ten minute silence follows which is broken by Ozai.

**"Why do I get the feeling that some day you will be the death of me?"**

Aang makes the shifty eyes.** "Er what ever made you think THAT?"**

**No reason. I was bored.**

Aang remembers what Zula did when she was bored and hurries to change the subject.

**What would you say if you could start over again?**

"**I'd say there's a reason why some animals eat their young!"**

**Ok..aay. Anything else?**

**Yeah. Abstinence is the way to go. Or Castration if you're into pain. **

A bell rings.

Aang jumps up and runs out the church. **Gotta go. Lunch Break. For more information on abstinance Plz take the leaflets on the front bench;**

Ozai stops to pick them up. **"Oh _good._ I was out of toilet paper."**

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**Hee hee…This is what happens when nice boys go nasty. I miss the sweet innocent Aang so I'm bringing him back…unless you want _this _bad boy around.**

**BTW- How was the Finale? Just Wow! Wasn't it? Is Zhao really dead?**


	3. Chapter 3

**The municipal council had coughed up some cash to rebuild Father Aang's church.**

**So, inside the confessional, it was business as usual.**

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Aang watched as the man from the Earth Kingdom shuffled into the booth. Aang gulped guiltily as he recognized the twice-defiled Cabbage man.

"**Bless me Father for I have sinned."**

"**Er…Tell me your sins my good man."**

The cabbage man sniffed in shame. **"I have been unfaithful."**

Aang did not want to hear any exclusive 'under the sheets' info, nevertheless tried his best to comfort the guy.

"**Now now…get it off your chest…er…sleep it off…nothing seems so bad in the morning."**

"**How can I Sleep Father? I have nightmares of my betrayal. I wake up sweaty and screaming every night. My infidelity shall give me no rest. No punishment is good for my treachery. I should burn in hell."** Aang felt sorry as the cabbage man dissolved in tears.

"**Come on Mr. Cabbage man; It was just a one night stand right?"**

"**Yes just once! Never again!"**

"**What exactly happened?"**

"**Last Tuesday…sniff…in Ba Sing Sei…sob…I had too much to drink and I wandered into a cheap motel."**

"**And?"** Aang gently prompted.

"**I couldn't help my self. We were in the same room together. I lost my senses and I did it."**

"**Did what?"**

"**I…I ate it Father I ate the carrots all night long. WHAAAAAA. I betrayed my lovely cabbages WHAAAAAAAAAA"**

A sound of a head banging on the wall reverberated around the church… _from the priest's side of the confessional._

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Aang waited as the raggedy man with the badly done afro walked into the confessional.

"**Forgive me father but I've sinned."**

"**Common occurrence. Take two tablets three times a day."**

"**I'm having suicidal thoughts. Repeatedly and frequently."**

"**Uh huh…"** Aang tapped the counter. **"These suicidal thoughts? Who do you have them about?"**

Jeong-Jeong's head snapped up in anger. **"Is this some kind of a _joke?"_**

Aang shook his head**. "No! No my son. Tell me why you're feeling _suicidal_?"**

The great Fire-bender sighed. **"Everything I create turns around and kicks me where it hurts!"**

Aang perked up. **"You mean the _nose_?" **

Jeong Jeong snorted. **"I seriously doubt your masculinity Father but that's beside the point…_Look_, I trained a young man in the art of fire AND WHAT HAPPENED?…he grew up to be an ass."**

"**Is that even genetically possible?"**

Jeong was unstoppable, he launched in to his narrative. **"I served the fire lord to the best of my ability, I gave up drinking, knitting and gambling for my nation BUT WHEN I TAKE INDEFINETE LEAVE…they turn around and label me a "DESERTER!"**

Aang yawned. **"Ooh how sad."**

"**Then the Avatar meets me. That's fine. But instead of a tall, elegant MAN it was a short slobbering brat who needed a hair transplant."**

Aang touched his head**. "Hey watch it!"**

"**Then I got married right? Now it's…"** Jeong put on a high-pitched girly voice. **"… _Clean_ _the lavatory Jeong! Blow dry your hair Jeong! Lose the beard Jeong! _She's on me 24/7."**

"**On public holidays too? Even _I_ get those off."**

"**Do you see why I want to kill my self?"**

Before Aang could reply his ten-ton flying bison, crashed in through the roof and landed in front of the confessional. Jeong leaped back and created a wall of fire.

"**ARRRHHAA… _please_ don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. _Eat them_!"**

"**Don't worry my son, this is Appa… he means no harm."**

Jeong wiped away the drool Appa was generously depositing on him**. "Can you ask him to have my wife for dinner?"**

The priest giggled**. "Nope! His powers can only be used for the good."**

The fire bender scowled**. "Believe me, Appa will be doing a favor for the Avatar himself if he eats her! Less scum to get off the world."**

Aang tried to get the story back on track. **"So can you describe yourself as happy-go-lucky?"**

Jeong rinsed the saliva off his hair. **"No, no, no, I'm NOT happy, I'm NOT lucky, and I don't GO. If anything, I'm sad-stop-unlucky."**

Aang stuck out his tongue and muttered.** "You _suck_ too"**

Jeong blinked. **"Excuse_ me _father I didn't_ quite _catch that."**

The priest erupted into a loud hasty coughing fit. **"COUGH cough What else?" **

Jeong leaned forward, **"I have nightmares Father and when I do, I barbeque my bed."**

Aang puffed out his cheeks**"And what exactly do you want _me_ to do about it?"**

Jeong shrugged**. "Buy me a mattress for starters." "And while you're at it a five course meal would be nice."**

"**Ok Ok…"** Aang cried**. "When is your midlife crisis going to end, because it's really starting to tick me off!"**

Jeong sniffed. **"Why are you screaming at me? Don't you feel sorry at all? 90 of time, I'm depressed. The other 30 I'm drunk."**

"**Boy you aren't that smart, are you?"**

"**Sniff sniff."**

Aang sighed.**"Ok I'm going to give you some ancient wisdom passed down by centuries of creative lying. After I'm done, will you promise to leave?"**

"**You mean: will you promise to learn?"**

"**No _leave_**."

Jeong scowled. **"Fine!"**

"**Three golden rules….." **Aang intoned.

"**One: Sleep with your eyes open.**

**Two: Yawn with your mouth closed.**

**Three: Listen to your heart and not the voices in your head. GOOD _BYE_!"**

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After the unstable pyromaniac left, Aang was feeling bored and listless. That was when the weird teenager arrived at the confessional. Aang watched round eyed, as the tall boy with messy hair slumped on to the bench. Aang wondered about his origin because_ no nation wore black._

Just in case this was a crazed ninja, sent to assassinate bad-mouthing priests, Aang did his best to sound intimidating.

"**Who dares intrude on my solitude?"**

The boy looked up. **"Er…Sorry…I just…yeah."**

Aang wondered if the boy spoke in code and then decided that the teenager was just drunk.

Still putting up a show of courage, Aang sneered. **"You look like shit. Is that the style now?"**

The boy did not seem to hear the insult; instead, he tried unsuccessfully to peer through the partition. **"Wow Father you sound young. (Here I was thinking MY voice is squeaky). How old _are_ you?"**

"**I'm twelve, give or take a century. How old are_ you_?"**

"**I'm seventeen. Forgive my rudeness I haven't even introduced myself."**

Aang nodded, extremely curious. **"Go on."**

"**I'm Porry. Porry Hatter…….No WAIT. I'm Harry. Harry Potter."**

Aang shook his head. _Mental, this one._ Out loud he voiced. "I'm …Just Aang."

"**Father Justaang I need advice and guidance."**

"**I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"**

Harry Potter sighed. **"No Thank you. Listen Justaang, I'm going to be totally honest with you. The truth is I'm sick of my shitty life."**

Aang reached through the bars and patted the teenager's hand. **"Now…now…"**

Harry shook his head. **"No really. Look at my life since July 16th. I've been stuck in limbo, while JK breast feeds her latest child. I got sick of it and decided to use her extensive powers of imagination to travel across dimensions. Now I need your advice goddamit!"**

Aang furrowed his brow. **"You're not from around here?"**

"**Of course not. My horrible accent, wonky clothing and the fact that I have hair is solid proof of it."**

"**Ok Harry Tell me your troubles."**

Harry, formally know as Porry took a deep breath. **"Ok here goes…I'm just waiting for the 7th book to be written so that this miserable tale can end. But I got sick of Miss Rowling playing 'Eeni meeni mini mo' 'Should Harry Stay or Should He Go?'**

Aang's eyes boggled. **"Whaaat?"**

Harry nodded, **"Yeah! Crappy way to decide if I was gonna live or die right? Anyway mate, _That _ I can handle, but it was the fact that she finally gave me a girl friend and then snatched her away before I even got to second base! I mean the hero's got to have a girl, who vows to follow him to the deepest recesses of hell, who declares their eternal love to the hero…But Miss JK 'just kidding' Rowling decides that I'm too noble and selfless to drag my true love on a suicide mission. Now I'm going to die a……." **Harry stopped monologuing long enough to come to his senses and finished lamely, **"Well… single."**

Aang remained silent, trying in vain to digest the angsty tale of teenage-angst.

Harry looked around the church. **"So… how screwed up is_ this _world?"**

It's Aang's turn to monologue.

"**I'm Aang Blah, Last Air Bender Blah.**

**Avatar: master of all elements Blah. **

**Fire Nation Blah, Trying to kill me Blah**

**Katara Blah True love Blah**

**Prince Zuko Blah; Blah Blah Blah**

**Summer, Comet, Ozai, I'm scared Blah."**

Harry nodded understandingly. **"You too huh? Typical overdone plot line." **He began to tick off his fingers. "**Young hero, All alone, Tragic past, Impossible Odds, Larger than life Adversary, Grueling quest. The only thing you're missing is a sick, mind boggling Prophesy."**

Aang's eyes widened. **"You had to go through this too?"**

Harry rolled his eyes. **"I'm _going_ through it right now. See my haunted expression, the way I keep looking over my shoulder, the way I keep oscillating between righteous anger and dark depression … I'm going through it alright!"**

Aang smiled. _Miserly loves company_

Harry suddenly looked shrewed, and is emerald eyes glinted. **"You know this Prince Zuko? Watch out for him."**

"**Why?"**

"**Because he's going to nick your girl."**

Aang's mouth dropped open.

Harry smiled grimly, **"I know kid; authors rarely show mercy. You may kill this Ozai guy. That fits with the GOOD PREVAILS theory, but you turn around and behold behold… the Prince is snogging your water bender."**

Aang shook his head vehemently, **"No No No, Katara _hates_ Zuko…"**

Harry sneered. **"My mother hated my father too."**

"**They're total opposites."**

"**So is Ron and Hermione."**

"**I don't think nations inter breed."**

"**Wizards _did _marry muggles…"**

Aang covered his ears and bellowed. **"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!**

Harry shrugged, **"Suit yourself kiddo, But let me tell you, in my second year JK tried to seduce Ginny, (MY girl) with a handsome version of the bad guy. Didn't work though, I got there _just _in time. So all I'm saying is …Watch out for the hot, bad boy royal Prince with the sexy scar, the sculpted body and the golden eyes."**

Aang banged the counter. **"WHY does EVERY one KEEP describing ZUKO? I'm boy friend material too."**

Harry squinted, **"Er…_No_. One look and I'd say you're a walking ribcage."**

Aang's tattoos began to glow. Harry realized his mistake and hurriedly backpedaled. **"Sorry mate, we're on the same side remember? The fed-up heroes against the evil authors…"**

The Avatar spirit neither heard nor cared, Aang started levitating.

Harry took out his wand and yelled out "**_Impedimenta"_**

The winds died down and the blue glow faded. Aang opened his eyes. **"wha…What happened?"**

Harry thought fast. **"Er we were playing a game. '_Who's got the worst deal_'? It is my turn. Here goes…" **Harry eyed the priest warily. **"They killed my mother, my father, my God father _and_ my Headmaster. Beat _that_!"**

Aang stuck out his tongue. **"They…the fire nation exterminated my _entire_ race! Ha!"**

Harry bit his lip. **"I have a SCAR. The remnant of a tragic past."**

Aang rolled his eyes. **"That's _soooo_ _Zuko._ I've got a FULL BODY TATOO. (Which may or may have not been put there against my will.)?"**

Harry grimaced. **"Ouch! But wait… I have a deranged lunatic after me."**

Aang grinned. **"Cool. So do I."**

Harry grinned back. **"Y'know kid, I feel like we're best friends. So how about we high tail it to the nearest pub and drown our sorrows together?"**

Aang pouted. **"I'd LOVE to. But I'm underage."**

Harry snickered. **"But you're 12, Give or take a hundred _right?_ So as of now you're twelve give hundred and therefore hundred and twelve. LET'S GO."**

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**I don't own Avatar or Harry Potter. **

**Likey? Sorry JK, but I'm getting OLD…while waiting for the next book. LOL.**

**There were mixed reviews on whether to bring sweet Aang back. Therefore, he has a split personality in this chapter.**

**Actually I wanted to make fun of Yue (NOT _you_.) in this section but the season finale melted my hardened heart. So no Yue. (Unless you guys want to laugh at a poor selfless princess who sacrificed her self?) **

**Next up, Jet, Sokka and Katara or I don't know… surprise characters maybe?**

**Review and tell me whose secrets you wanna hear next!**

**Btw, Read my Zutara drabble (Death by Your Element) too. It's my first time writing romance and the result is 1 percent fluff and 99 percent other stuff. Feedback would be greatly appreciated.**

**- La Femme.**


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